Forgiveness
is considered a process and may be both intrapersonal and interpersonal. It is the cognitive process of letting go of
hard feelings that allows a person to come to terms that a wrong has occurred
and allows for the long-term coping process that is yet to follow (pp. 306-307,
Wilmot, Hocker, 2007). The difference between intrapersonal and
interpersonal forgiveness is that intrapersonal or personal forgiveness is what
occurs within the person’s emotions and thoughts that results in
forgiveness. This activity may not even
include the offender, but instead takes place from within. The interpersonal process includes the other
party to resolve and extend forgiveness that often results in reconciliation
between the parties. It is this internal
and external activity that results in forgiveness that has equal significance,
but not necessarily dependent upon one another.
Although
the process of forgiveness often does include the real or perceived offender,
often times the offenders participation is only a portion of the overall
resolution. It is the duality of both
the victim’s coping with the perceived wrong as a separate process may or not
may include the apologies of the offender.
At times, the other party may not be aware that the process of forgiveness
is taking place in the mind of the one wronged or the fact that the victim is
coming to such terms. Internal or
“intrapersonal” forgiveness is not dependant upon the
responsiveness, or actions of the person who caused the hard. This focuses on the beliefs, feelings, attitudes,
decision, and behavior of the victim.
It
is this healthy adaptive interplay of coming to terms and releasing these
feelings that might support psychological wellbeing over time. Often the forgiveness is followed by reconciliation,
but not in all cases (p. 232, Cahn & Abigail, 2007).
Research
has revealed that increases in forgiveness were related to an increase in psychological
wellbeing (Bono, McCullough, Root, 2008).
Therefore, such resolution is healthy for the victim in moving forward
in their dealing with the issue at hand.
References
Bono, G., McCullough, M., Root, L. (2008). Forgiveness,
Feeling Connected to Others, and
Well-Being: Two
Longitudinal Studies. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin,
34(2), 182. Retrieved March 26, 2008,
from Research Library database.
(Document ID:
1420865851).
Cahn, D., Abigail, R.A. (2007). Managing
Conflict through Communication, Boston, MA:
Pearson
Education.
Wilmot, W.W. & Hocker, J.L. (2007). Interpersonal Conflict, New York, NY: McGraw Hill.